Dirigiyem 2

I kinda stopped doing this, but...

Dirigiyem

Today, Dirigiyem is to the talking point. I was talking to my friend on the phone yesterday, and he grabbed the phone and said "Hello, would you like some milk powder? It's fresh and healthy as gibbledygabbledygookgar- Bump-ananumpumpbapa- Bumpa-anamabupana Bumpumpanabumpumpanabumpanabumpbumpa! Huhuhhuhuhuhuh th-th-th-at's all, carlos!" Then he drank seven Red Bulls, paraded around the kitchen for an hour wearing a hat that said "Ehhp!" while driving a mini-golf cart with a comically large sunroof, and then he called 911 on his fake phone. I told him it would'nt work. I also asked him where he got the hat, the golf cart, and the seven Red Bulls. "So I had a few Red Bulls, who gives a crap, oodly doodly, what's the big ol' deal, Daddy-O, I maen it's not like I murdered anyone like that woman over there who just stabbed that man, hey, is drinking some good ol' bulls illegal huh, is it, huh, is it, huuh, iis iit, huuuh, iiis iiit, HUH, IS IT, HUHISITHUHISITHUHISITHUHISIT?" Then he grabbed the real phone and called 310-867-5309. Some dude anwered and said "Stop calling this number or I will kill you you dumb fans!" Then he called 911. Then, the police came and we cleaned everything up, but not before Dirigiyem drank another three Red Bulls and ate their guns. (Both kinds. It was very bloody. He literally ate their biceps, triceps, and quadriceps. For some reason, he wasn't jailed, and so he is here now, cooking cobra hoods and drinking coffee. Seriously, for him, the best part of waking up is Folger's in his premium Star Wars vs. Batman collectible cup.

-Ben