Cast Party Muffin Hat Madness Sandwich Banjo!

Ok, so my school has been working on some stuff in drama club lately and we had two showings of the "Missing: Alice of Wonderland" play and I was the lizard and it ended up pretty awesome. However, there was a cast party afterwards, so I decided to go. It was fun until I drank three bottles of Root Beer. Then, I was kind of woozy, and I saw something on the snack table!

Then, I saw this.

Since I was fazed, I thought it would be a fantabulous idea to throw the muffin at the Dormouse's head. (we'll just call him Eeeew. Because that's what he was when he talked because a lot of the time he said eeeew things. Also he was wearing these weird red booty shorts and for some reason he thinks he's the sexiest living organism in the entire local group of galaxies.) Any ways, he turned around and yelled this-

Then a little more evilly.Instead of saying "I did it!", I hid under the porch until things worked themselves out. Hiding became more and more suspenseful as Eeeew and his friend Dragon were parading around, throwing water bottles at anyone who could possibly have thrown the muffin (i.e. everyone), and saying that if whoever threw the muffin didn't come clean that they would personally have them skinned. I promptly threw another muffin, but I missed, and it hit Dragon. Then, Eeew and Dragon screamed and said bad things.

Unfortunately for me, I think Dragon saw me. He whispered into Eeeew's ear something that I could not make out except for "skin". This had me thoroughly creeped out, but then Dragon left and I felt safe again. I sat on the couch. Eventually, everybody left but Eeeew, Me, and the house's owners. I was just sitting there, when something insanely ironic happened. Eeeew walked into the room at the exact same time "Under Pressure" by Queen began to play. He sat down on the chair near where I was now standing and said-

Then, he jumped out of the chair and I ran into the kitchen to call my mom that it was imperative she picked me up right away or else I would be skinned.

Now, I'm really scared that the evil ghost that looks a lot like Eeeew will kill me in the night.

(For the record, Eeeew, if you read this, there is no offense intended but I'm probably just saying that because I don't want you to skin me. Also, I will give you that you are sexier than Chuck Norris because he is ugly as heck. I don't beleive all that "Chuck Norris is invincible" crap. Also, Chuck Norris, if you're reading this, please don't beat me up because I will say you have big muscles, and if all the "invincible" stuff is true then that would pretty much make me a dead person. Oh, and, you are sexier than Justin Beiber, Chuck. Oh, and, Beiber, if you read this, there is lots of offense intended. Want advice? Go down to Great Clips or something and get a real haircut, then ban all your videos from youtube and replace them with ads for vanilla and beans.)

-Ben