Here is a story I made up because I was bored.
No title needed
So, in Ithaca, NY, a man went insane because he drank a bottle that said "DO NOT DRINK. WILL RESULT IN INSANITY." He fantasized about joining the circus. He dreamed of making cast iron cheese and smoothing the orangutan's retinas. Then he jumped into a river and stole a microphone. Right before he ran away, he said "Death to all! Feel the seething wrath of KanghasManoo! You'll see! I will reign!" Then, he ran into the woods and tried to become one with the animals. Over a period of years, he did indeed become one with all the animals, except the bear. Every time he got close to the bears, they would try to rip his limbs off. One day, he had an epiphany that if he cut off all his fingers and gave them to the bears, they would love him for eternity. So, that is what he did. However, the bears loved his fingers and began chasing after him until they reached the train tracks in the woods. As the man was running from the bears, he noticed they would not go on the tracks after him. He began mocking them with his meaty hand. The bears were drooling, for this was complete torture. All of the sudden, a train came and he was killed instantly. The bears took great delight in this.
The End
So, the moral is-listen to bears and don't stand on train tracks.
